Aquariana Corazón

An experience of LOVE

2011-06-06T17:12:00.000-07:00

The deepest abyss.... containing ALL life and creation. And the verb of loving is to recognize that in that very darkness where our fears, insecurities, and weaknesses come up is the very place where LOVE begins. It is our opportunity to ACCEPT that vastness within us. That is LOVE. ♥

Many names for the Moon

2009-09-17T10:14:00.000-07:00

As we inevitably watch our world hurt our celestial friend, I am reminded of the connection we once used to know to the feminine aspect of ourselves..... I pray that we will honor Her once again. My love to you dear Hecate.....

A (also Sirdu, Sirrida): Moon Goddess of Chaldeans. Depicted as a disk with eight rays.
Annit: Northern Babylonian Goddess who was superseded by Ishtar. Originally the ruler of the moon, Annit was portrayed as a disk with eight rays. She and Sin, a male moon god would come to the aid of mortals.
Arianrod: Welsh Moon Goddess and one of several children of the mother Goddess Don. Her home was in the constellation Corona Borealis.
Artemis: Moon Goddess of both Greeks and the legendary Amazons. Worshipers payed homage to her on nights of the ful moon by reveling in the forest under the moon’s light. She was associated with the Waxing Moon.
Artimpaasa: Scythian Moon Goddess.
Athenesic: Native American Moon Goddess. Auchimalgen: Chilean Moon Goddess who served as protector of the Auracanians.
Britomartis: Originally a Crean Moon Godess, later assimilated by the conquering Greeks. Britomartis would appear in the night’s sky to aid sea going navigators.
Candi: The female counterpart to Chandra, ancient Hindy lord of the Moon. The two were said to take turns: one month the moon would be Candi, the next Chandra.
Caotlicue: Aztec Moon Goddess and wife of the Sun God. Sometimes called the lunar counterpart to the Earth Goddess Coatlicue.
Chang-o (also Chang-wo, Heng-E, Heng-O): Chinese Moon Goddess. According to legend, she was the wife of a famous archer to who the gods had promised immortality. Chang-o stood her husband’s magical potion, drank it, and was forced to escape his wrath by fleeing to the moon in the shape of a frog. She is represented in the dark spots of the moon as a three-legged frog.
Dae-Soon: Korean Moon Goddess
Diana: Roman assimilation of the Greek Moon Goddess Artemis. Diana was often portrayed riding the moon, with a bow in her hands. She was frequently worshiped out in the open, so she could look down at her faithful.
Europa: A Cretan Goddess who had lunar attributes; her consort animal was a bull. Europa takes it’s name from her.
Gnatoo: Moon Goddess of the Friendly Islands. Her portrayal, as a woman pounding out tapa, is a motif of Polynesian woman-in-the-moon myths.
Gwaten: Japanese Buddist lunar Goddess, one of twelve Buddist deities called the Jiu No O, adopted from Hindu mythology. Gwaten is derived from the Hindu God Soma, and is portrayed as a woman holding in her right hand, a disk symbollizing the Moon.
Hanwi: Oglala Moon Goddess who lived with the Sun God Wi. She was tricked by a woman into giving up her seat next to Wi and was shamed. She left Wi’s home and went her own way, as a punishment she was forced to give up rulership of dawn and twilight, and to hide her face when near the sun.
Hecate: Greek Moon Goddess who came out at night carrying a torch and accompanied by dogs. She was said to frequent crossroads, where statues to her were erected. A triple Goddess, she was sometimes pictured as having the heads of a dog, a horse, and a serpent. Worshippers paid tribute on nights of the full moon by leaving offerings at her statues. As queen of the night, Hecate ruled spirits, ghosts, and infernal creatures such as ghouls. She was the patroness of Witchcraft.
Hina (also Ina): Polynesian Goddess. In Hawaiian mythology, her full name is Hina-hanaia-ka-malma, which means “the woman who worked in the moon”. Various stories tell how she went there. In one story, she sailed her canoe to the moon. In another, her brother, angered by noise she was making after a night of heavy drinking, threw her into the heavens. In Tahitian and Hawaiian myths, she grew weary of beating out tapa and escaped her drudgery by fleeing to the moon. In another Hawaiian myth, a chief lured her up from a land under the seas, and from her gourd came the moon and the stars. Another myth credits her with creating the first coconuts with Te Tuna “The Eel.”.
Huitaca (also Chia): Moon Goddess to the ancient Chibacha Native Americans, who lived in what now is Columbia. Huitaca was depicted as an owl. Representing the spirit of joy and pleasure, she was constantly at odds with the male Bochica, who stood for hard work, and a solemn approach to daily living. In some legends, Huitaca was the wife of Bochica, whom she had trid to ruin by destroying his believers by unleashing a great flood. He took vengance on her by hurling her into the sky, and turning her into the moon.
Ishtar (also Asdar, Astar, Istar, Istaru): Babylonian Goddess who ruled the Moon, derived in part from the Sumerian goddess Inanna. In some accounts Ishtar was the daughter of the Moon God Sin and sister of Shamash the Sun God. According to legend, on a trip to the underworld to find Tammuz, her dead lover, she had shed her clothes, which caused the moon to darken. On her return trip, as she regained her clothes, the moon brightened again.
Isis: Egyptian Goddess who was both the moon and the mother of the sun. She was depicted holding a papyrus scepter and the ankh, which represents life.
Ix Chel: Mayan Goddess of the Moon. Ix Chel and the Sun were lovers, but because the sun was always jealous, it was a stormy relationship. The Sun would routinely tell her to leave heaven, only to set off to find her again. Travelling the night sky, Ix Chel would make herself invisible when the sun approached.
Juno: Roman Sky and Moon Goddess. The apprearance of the new moon would bring out her women worshipers.
Lalal (also Losna, Lucna): Etruscan Moon Goddess
Luna: Roman Goddess of the Moon. Associated with Selene, Diana, and Hecate.
Mah: Persian Moon Goddess, whose light makes plants grow.

Mama Quilla: Incan Moon Goddess who protected married women. Her most famous temple was erected at Cuzco, seat of the Incan Empire. She was portrayed as a silver disk with feminine features. It was said eclipses resulted when Mama Quilla was eaten by a heavenly jaguar.
Mawa: African Moon Goddess, who ruled the heavens with her twin brother, Lisa.
Metztli: Aztec Moon Goddess. According to mythology, Metztli would leap into a blazing fire to give birth to the sun in the morning sky.
Pandia: Greek Goddess associated with Selene, the Greek Goddess of the Full Moon.
Perse (also Persea, Persels): Early Greek Moon Goddess.
Pheraia: Little is known about this Thessalian Goddess. Possibly, she was associated with the moon because she was depicted carrying a torch and riding a bull, a lunar animal.
Rabie: Indonesian Moon Goddess.
Ri (also Re): Phoenician Moon Goddess
Sardarnuna: Sumerian Goddess of the New Moon. Selene (also Mene, Selena): Greek Goddess of the Full Moon. Wearing wings and a crescent crown, Selene rode in a chariot pulled by two white horses.
Teczistecatal: Ancient Mexican Moon Goddess.
Titania: Epithet for Diana, Roman Moon Goddess
Tlazolteotl (also Tlaculteutl): Aztec Sex Goddess who may have had lunar associations. Tlazolteotl whose name means “Lady of Dirt”, produced lust and then forgave those who lusted. She especially favoured illicit affairs. She had four aspects, which have been interpreted in modern times as representing four phases of the moon.
Yellow Woman: Huntress Godess of the Keres, a Pueblo tribe. Yellow Woman is similar to the Roman’s Diana and also appears to have lunar associations; her name itself is evocative of moonlight. In myths that seem to explain phases and the moon’s occasional daytime appearances, Yellow Woman is killed at night and her brother, Arrow Youth, searches for her with the help of Great Star. Arrow Youth wants her to be alive during the day. He is told by the chief of spirits that she will stay away for four days. He searches for her among melon rinds, symbols of the crescent moon. Then her heart is found, and her head is washed. She puts on a dress and is seen during the day.
Yemanja: Ocean Goddess of Brazilian Macumba, Yemanja also has lunar associations. She is portrayed as the crescent moon.
Yohuatliceti: Moon Goddess of the ancient Mexicans.
Yolkai Estsan (also Yokalikaiason): Navajo moon Goddess. Make from abalone shell, Yolkai was the sister of the Sky Goddess Estsatehi.
Zarpandit (also Zerbanit, Zerbanitu, Zerpanitum, and Beltis): Babylonian Goddess worshipped nightly at the appearance of the moon.
Zirna: Etruscan Moon Goddess. She was depected wearing a half moon around her neck

We can only help ourselves...

2009-05-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

All relationships require experimentation and practice. What I learn in one relationship is mine to take to another one if I choose or need to. We go to school to learn to read; we have relationships to learn how to have relationships.
In my experience in Ayurveda so far, I am in this to learn to help others...but first I must learn the slippery slope of staying centered through all of that...most importantly to heal myself first. Every relationship whether intimate or friendship will go through many periods of change in its time together. It will be enough for me to handle my own changing without becoming tied up in yours. When you become obsessed by something, it will be time to back up and give you and me more space... If instead, I see your obsession as a time for me to move in close, I will become wrapped up in that obsession that has root's in your pysche. I will not have the benefit of playing something out within me that needs to be seen--I will just drive myself nuts with my obsession with your obsession. This never leads to anything balanced. I have experienced losing you many times in your preoccupation, just as you are losing yourself to your internal struggle...I want to find you and help by getting involved...but only you can get yourself out of that place. This time I will just hold space for you. Be honored to be your friend. I will stay centered. I will live and learn.

Help Hollis!!

2009-03-03T11:28:00.000-08:00

One of my dearest and long term friends Hollis Hawthorne went on an amazing adventure to India recently and has now been in a motorcycle accident!! For those of us who have been touched by this daring individual there is a site to help get her home called Friends of Hollis Hawthorne.http://friendsofhollis.blogspot.com/Here is an excerpt from that site explaining more about what happened....For those of you who know Hollis, she has been in a motorcycle accident in Pondicherry, India.There was a motorcycle in front of her with three passengers that skidded out, and she either swerved to avoid them or ran into them. She was wearing a helmet. Her friend Harrison was on the scene to give her CPR until the ambulance arrived. This happened on wednesday 2/25/09.The main damage to her body is brain stem damage with a skull fracture at the back of her head. Her ear was cut pretty badly, and she had some major blood loss.She is still in a coma and she is not breathing on her own since the accident. Her vital signs are stabilized. Her fluids and body are being monitored through her heart. Her lung has not collapsed. Her brain is no longer hemorrhaging. She is reacting to stimulus, so gifts with smells or sounds help. Her body is becoming ridged and shaky. She is out of emergency room where other people were dying and in a hospital room.A fund will be set up through a website to cover cost and needs.KT is having a gathering on Sunday and another benefit is being arranged, venue suggestions? Her mother will arrive Saturday 28th in the morning.This girl needs our love and support!!! Please join me in helping get her arse back to us....WE LOVE YOU DEAR GODDESS GIRL!Hila

Update March 3rd:
Since then a fund has been set up and I am talked with Harrison's mom Karen (Hollis's beau) to help find research on getting an air ambulance that will transport her back to the states. She has been moved to a hospital in Chennai (apollo). That happened last night sometime. I have a friend who was just in South India this last summer and is working with me to gert a translator and info on who at the consulate or embassy office will help. She already has a place to go when she gets back to California. They have a charity spot for her at Stanford Hospital in San Fransisco. This is wonderfu lsince she doesn't have insurance. Please check out the blogspot page and get this info out to everyone you know. Every little bit counts!

Thank you all for your love and support!!

Hilary

Growing into the Earth

2009-02-26T10:21:00.001-08:00

Change is the only thing we can count on. This is something I have known all my life. I am used to chaos and ever changing situations. This was not my doing in the beginning on my life, but it is what I have grown used to so to speak. Some of that is a good thing. I have tools to deal with change and in letting go of all kinds of things. The downside is that I never let myself believe that I could in fact grow roots. I didn't know how or even where to begin. I only knew where to start when it came to what I knew well....opening up emotionally and scraping all the bull shit aside. But the tools to be practical and successful finacially? Nope...wasn't even sure I had it in me. This is probably the most important lesson I decided to learn. What I knew how to do well was connect with people.

It was when I met a man that possesed these qualities, I was intrigued and genuinely interested in growing with him. Be careful what you ask for if you are not fully ready.....He taught me so much about myself and so much about love. In a way that had never been given to me.....but because I couldn't offer the roots he so much needed, that love dissapated into harsh diss-connect. It was self-protection. I understand that now...See the set tools I had were not seen as something valuable to him. And that was why it was time to move on...

I wanted to be fully ready then, but to give myself some grace...this was the first time I had taken a road like that....My heart was ready, but I let my head get in the way all too often. What I can say now that the relationship is over, is I learned to take those lessons of stability to heart. My goal now is to take that road myself and not in a relationship. To grow the roots in myself and be finacially secure. I am on that road now. So proud of myself for being trusting and for not letting the hurt in this last relationship keep me from being the TP (total package). That love may have dissapated because it took a bit too long to fully comprehend and process each step that would of kept the relationship intact. I was learning but not at a pace that he needed me to be. But what I can do is take these life lessons of love and growth into my present and future.....

I know that each day I make the effort to grow I am not only evolving into the TP, but I am encouraging and inspiring in a new way. I used to be the muse. The motivational speaker...but now I am letting my actions begin to speak, and all those beautiful friends that have believed in me along the way are inspired that this butterfly girl can not only fly, but she can be solid in the earth like a tree growing roots.

How We Can Be a Part of Each Other's Healing

2009-01-31T08:07:00.000-08:00

When a friendship ends, or a relationship ends, we are usually left to pick up the pieces ourselves. We may even see a therapist or use some kind of meditation or prayer. I have certainly done this a number of times in my life and find it to be a great help.One thing we do know is that trying to repair the friendship or relationship isn't usually going to be talking or rebuilding directly with the other that we have lost. Sometimes this is good, because it is beyond repair (not in a lets get back together kind of way, but the trust foundation is totally broken for lines of communication). Sometimes there are no words even if we tried to say them. Sometimes even if we did try and repair the other isn't interested. If so, then we must do the work ourselves without that person in our lives.
I personally like to try first with meditation, reading and writing. It really helps me figure out what I can on my own. I usually am able to see both sides pretty quickly. I usually try and voice an apology for what I was responsible for...soemtimes this takes time....but as I grow I find it easier to say sorry and look at where I was responsible for the wreck so to speak. Then I really do appreciate when an old relationship can tell me what they went through or what they may have been responsible for. Its incredibly healing. If love's grace is showing the other our whole selves...the good the bad and the ugly....if love can only heal what it presents itself to be healed, and if we truly love someone and they love us, wouldn't it be ideal to give each other that grace without the confines of the realtionship that failed? Isn't it letting someone free?
Maybe just maybe when we shut the other person out and refuse to connect we are continuing to shut ourselves out of the very thing we need to address. But to try and heal it with an old realtionship? That sounds crazy right? Well what if you are friends...wouldn't you want to try and establish a new foundation that is solid? If both parties are willing, the opportunity to heal is incredible. Yes, there are boundaries that should be respected as in any relationship or friendship. Both people should be clear about what they want and where this is going. Trust does have to be re-established for sure. What if one person's idea of friends is a more a "how's the weather" appraoch...but they still want you in their life? Or what if the other one sees continuing a connetion as an opportunity to repair and heal, so deep communication is what's asked? Because they are not in sync, should they not talk altogether?

There are many reasons one puts up a front and shuts down. We may feel terror or panic when we see a once loving connection has been wrecked by our own fears, and maybe the other's too. But again, isn't this the very reason we should let go of this old stuff and truly forgive and recognize the beauty and sacred mystery of the other? Isn't this where we have an opportunity to move on in our next relationship so this doesn't keep occuring again and again? Our need for conncetion helps us to understand why it is so hard to let go of others.....when this is a peaceful and harmonious place we are more apt to move on with a smile. I think we must understand each other outside of the boxes we put ourselves and each other in. We must look at the whole picture and see the archtype that we are and who we have made the other. All our lives consisit of the very same issues if not addressed. If not now...when will we face these things?

The beauty of opening our heart to someone is the most powerful grace in the world. This is our greatest tool to be a part of the healing process for ourselves and for others.

no compassion?

2009-01-24T15:01:00.000-08:00

I was recently told that yogis are considered the most selfish people on earth because they do not have compassion...when they see someone elses suffering they know it is only a reflection of that person's karma. Hmmm....I really must say I do not agree with that. So I was told I didn't understand the teachings of hinduism or of buddha. Hmm... my heart really knew this couldn't be the truth. And as you will find here compassion is the very root of expansion, forgiveness and love.

Hinduism
Life is sacred
All living beings are sacred because they are parts of God, and should be treated with respect and compassion. This is because the soul can be reincarnated into any form of life. Hinduism is full of stories that treat animals as divine, such as how Krishna used to herd cows, or how the monkey Hanuman was a faithful servant of the Rama. Most Hindus are vegetarian because of this belief in the sanctity of life. Even trees, rivers and mountains are believed to have souls, and should be honoured and cared for.

Buddhism
"At the heart of Buddhist philosophy is the notion of compassion for others. It should be noted that the compassion encouraged by Mahayana Buddhism is not the usual love one has for friends or family. The love being advocated here is the kind one can have even for another who has done one harm. Developing a kind heart does not always involve any of the sentimental religiosity normally associated with it. It is not just for people who believe in religions; it is for everyone who considers himself or herself to be a member of the human family, and thus sees things in accordingly large terms.
"The rationale for universal compassion is based on the same principle of spiritual democracy. It is the recognition of the fact that every living being has an equal right to and desire for happiness. The true acceptance of the principle of democracy requires that we think and act in terms of the common good. Compassion and universal responsibility require a commitment to personal sacrifice and the neglect of egotistical desires.
"I believe our every-day experience confirms that a self-centred attitude towards problems can be destructive not only towards society, but to the individual as well. Selfishness does not solve problems for us, it multiplies them. Accepting responsibility and maintaining respect for other will leave all concerned at peace. This is the essence of Mahayana Buddhism." THE DALAI LAMA

Sufis
On Compassion, Understanding and Help
By identifying the prevailing sentiment we may know the dominating energy of the moment. The dominating energy is always the unfulfilled one. It is the energy of desire and is the commanding energy. It is the demanding energy of the moment. It is the energy that is speaking in the unseen and is always the voice, however inept, of the hidden prayer. This is why it is said that Allah knows the secrets of the innermost heart. If the voice is negative, and projecting in the form of hatred, anger or resentment, then it is the product of (the) frustration (of desires). Frustration is almost always the product of ignorance (as in inability), or distraction (as in lack of focus). In other words, a lack of understanding.
Understanding is the goal of the quest. Understanding is what transforms the murid (desiring, disciple) into the murad (desired, master). How can it be offered if it is not attained? It cannot be feigned. If there are still desires in the heart for it then understanding is not yet achieved. Understanding is the help! It is the victory and the opening.
Real understanding begins with a compassionate interest and the knowledge that underneath every Dominating Energy (or act of frustration) there is a responsible cause that is fundamentally benevolent and healing in nature

Judaism
the Jewish mandates to be a "light onto the nations" and to work for tikkun olam (the healing, repair, and perfecting of the world); the mitzvot to pursue justice and righteousness and to emulate God in His attribute of compassion; the implications of such mitzvot as "love thy neighbor as thyself", "be kind to the stranger for you were strangers in the land of Egypt", and "seek peace and pursue it"; Jewish business ethics; treatment of converts; how the ultimate goal of Jewish particularism is to benefit all of humanity and all of creation; and the ramifications of the Jewish "Messianic Vision".

Christianity
Mat 25:34-40 (Jesus, NRSV)
34 'Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: 35 For I was hungry, and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.' 37 Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? 38 And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? 39 And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?' 40 And the king will answer them, 'Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are are members of my family, you did it to me.

Staying Inspired

2009-01-24T08:38:00.000-08:00

Mother the inspiration from inside you. When inspiration comes don't think this thought will come polluted. And when pollution, when impurity comes, Mother the thought that you will be beautified. Focusing on this the mind will become pure. The moment you are inspired and you begin to think it will become polluted or lost is when it does...forget this and use your energies on nurturing the Divine within. Bliss is within....

Transendence

2009-01-23T14:50:00.000-08:00

"Transcendence is our goal in life. Rest is the goal of action. Breathlessness is the final goal of all breathing exercises. Spirit is the eternal silence out of which all sound and vibration are born."

To talk about transendence we must be committed to our highest Selves. Desiring our growth and desiring good for all beings. We find these things often come in our actions to ourselves and to others. Our experiences manifest the very things we need to grow in and work on. I have come across the issue of condesending behavior and a lack of trust recently. I must admit to myself if the goal is to transend then facing this honestly will help me overcome this. I know that I have often thought of myself as an open minded person, but because I see recognition in the disrespectful way I have been treated, I only know it because I have done the same. This is where compassion lies and true growth can occur. The healing is partly in the recognition, and I believe in my heart, the forgiveness to the other and to yourself. So with transendence being my goal I find myself taking action...and then rest. Resting sometimes comes before if the energies have been tapped out. If this needs to happen then I simply go to the next part....breathing.
It is when I focus on something as simple as breathing in my meditations that I find the clarity, the connection, the vessel that I am, and the responsibility that I have to be Divine. If I haven't already put things into motion then it is here that I fuel up with cosmic breath of truth. In the silence all sound all vibration becomes a new state of consciousness, and I am able to express my inner peace that tranforms me and in turn gives dharma back to the world.

Soothing the heart

2009-01-19T14:59:00.001-08:00

The heart is the only thing we can truly trust...it guides us to our deepest and highest Selves. When we doubt this we can do several things to get back on "track". One is meditation and yoga. Listening to find the answers within. But when this is still unclear, we look to those who we can trust our heart with. For some it is only a Guru, Jesus, their best friend, their lover, their sister or mother, a true companion, but I say why not champion them all. It is our responsibility to invest in the answers. We must sow the seeds...of course we know not which ones will bloom. Maybe the answer lies in who the heart trusts....in that we find that we aren't doubting ourselves at all, maybe we just need some encouragement from someone who knows that heart best. Thank you for that today friend.

Admitting being wounded

2009-01-13T12:27:00.001-08:00

Sometimes it is our ego that gets in the way, not wanting to admit where we got hurt. Dante saw souls in hell who had refused to repent, a metaphor for the inflated ego's refusal to acknowledge its inadequaucies or to ask for forgiveness and swallow pride. The ego has a tough time at admitting brokenness of any kind. How ironic this is, since only when we acknowledge how shattered we are do we find a path to restoration. This irony and paradox is a way of seeing that the psyche is oriented towards wholeness and that the universe is truly friendly and loving.
The redemptive possibilities thrive best when we begin by admitting these hurts, without the need to dredge up old memories UNTIL they come up naturally. It usually takes a long siege before the armor of protection(really just the frightened ego) can be dismantled. This growth comes form our ability to know ourselves as we stabilize our lives through psychological work and spiritual practices. I find my best insights and my true Self feels safe to come out and play and grow when I am in meditation.

rainbow sleeves for you....

2009-01-05T09:45:00.000-08:00

First off thank you Dad for this. I once needed a rainbow sleeve...now i have one to offer....and tomorrow who knows....;-)

You used to dream yourself away each night
To places that you'd never been
On wings made of wishes
That you whispered to yourself
Back when every night the moon and you
Would sweep away to places
That you knew
Where you would never get the blues

Well now, whiskey gives you wings
To carry
Each one of your dreams
And the moon does not belong to you
But I believe
That your heart keeps young dreams
Well, I've been told
To keep from ever growing old
And a heart that has been broken
Will be stronger when it mends

Don't let the blues stop you singing
Darling, you've only got a broken wing
Hey, you just hang on to my rainbow
Hang on to my rainbow
Hang on to my rainbow sleeves

elephant sanctuary

2009-01-04T09:37:00.000-08:00

this is the kind of thing that we need to see more of everyday....

this ones for you Julia...

Jainism for Unity

2009-01-02T15:05:00.000-08:00

Modern Science,
Jainism and Quest for Unity
By Dr Mrs. Ela M. Dedhia Reader Designate, College of Home Science Nirmala Niketan

Humans, in their struggle for survival, used reason to acquire knowledge of Nature (science), invented new technologies to control nature, evolved political structure and society (civilization) and developed aesthetic, moral, religious and spiritual values. However overemphasis on material welfare has misled humans to use science and technology to exploit human themselves, animals and natural resources to their benefit without giving due consideration to the human welfare, animal welfare and ecological balance. This has resulted into degradation of socio-moral norms, cruelty to animals and to man himself and modern ecological crisis.

Science is concerned with improving life. Science has contributed to the survival of human and animals. But the paradox lies in animals being killed or tortured for testing, for medicines and therapies for human betterment.

There are several Issues, Challenges, Problems faced by all living creatures in the scientific and technologically advancing world by virtue of phenomenal intellectual growth and unlimited aspirations of mankind, mounting global conflicts. Human beings need to think aloud and revert back to self-regulation, compassionate relationship and adhere to the Natural Laws of Co-Existence mentioned in the scriptures of all faiths. We have to Live, Grow and also Create a favorable environment for all other living beings including ourself to sustain and survive peacefully. Humans, Animals, Insects, Botanical Wealth of plants growing flowers, fruits, earth, water, air and all other natural ingredients are to be well maintained and preserved.

The success of Globalization lies in the totality of all nations of the globe connected together in a healthy competitive atmosphere and with the true spirit of "Sharing and Caring", "Growing and Permitting others to Grow", and more importantly refraining from misuse of Economic power to cause harm or crush the dependent Nation for the sake of attaining superiority status or projecting as a monopolistic nation of the world.

We observe Terrorism in all forms born out of fundamentalism, super intellectuality, accumulation of economic or muscle power and superfluous ambitions. The revolutionary forces instigate mass upsurge, and throw the normal life of an average citizen out of gear. Life is unsafe and uncertain, in spite of overall advancement in science, technology and growth in economic index. Tension prevails in almost every human mind. Natural Sciences, Political Science and Philosophy blended with Religion can go a long way in arresting the negative trends of human Civilization, through a change of heart, increase of Tolerance and compulsion to stay together by means of Global Coalition. The global energy is to be channelized for productive use and not wasted out of intoxication. Humans to be more Humane.

Problems have arisen due to degradation of Nature.

* Human Abuse
Ill treatment of women in the name of religion. At the societal level- Wars due to Religious Obscurantism, Dogmatism and Fanaticism, which can be sorted out through interfaith dialogue, liberalism & critical evaluation of ones own faith

* Animal Abuse -
Animal torture through factory farming (for meat eating), Leather and Silk Textiles and Fashion Accessories, Other Textile processes, Animal Testing for Cosmetics (vivisection), Torture/Killing of animals for Jewellery, Entertainment (Circus).

* Abuse of Nature
Consumerism, Deforestation, Pollution of air, water and noise due to industrialization and globalization, irradiated foods through nuclear energy, ecological crisis.

Jainism and Quest for Unity

Ultimate Goal: According to Jainism the final goal is the elevation of the soul to the status of the supreme soul or fully liberated soul. The Jain Dharma regards only liberation (moksha) as the goal of life. It preaches that person who behaves religiously with a view to obtaining worldly happiness and satisfying selfish desires neither progresses towards the final goal nor does he grasp the essence of Dharma.

What is most important is that the spiritual aspirant marches towards it uninterruptedly and constantly. Even partial progress marks an attainment of the goal. Complete liberation is its final fulfillment. Such an individual learns the art of leading a happy and tension-free life even while living in the mundane world. Passing joys and sorrows do not deflect him from the enjoyment of inner bliss. The life style developed by the Jain Dharma on the above basis gives man the means to lead a peaceful, happy and healthy life. Religion is relation with oneself, with others/nature and with the divine. The realization of the divine within us is termed in different names such as "Kaivalya," Nirvana etc.

Jainism believes that:

God: God is not the controller of the world. God is pure unattached consciousness, eternal, unborn, desire-less and not subject to reincarnation. All souls, which attain the above characteristics, belong to the category of a God. There have been countless souls of this kind and there will be countless of the kind in future.

The World: The world is real. The constant natural and causal changes of the modes of conscious beings, matter and other substances constitute the sentient and non-sentient world. This tallies with the concepts of modern science.

Man: Man is a living being endowed with special abilities. By birth there is no difference between one man and another man. Man can make his present individual, as well as collective life, happy and peaceful. For this what is needed is not the worship of a God but heroic self-effort. Any man can attain the highest good through his valorous effort irrespective of caste, nationality, creed or sex.

Unity of Dharma: Central importance is given to the soul where caste, creed and colour were not significant. There can be a plurality of sects but there can be no plurality of Dharma. True Dharma consists in subduing attachment and hatred. It is the same for everyone and for all times and all places.

Karma - The Law Of Deeds And Actions - affirms that there is moral causation and we cannot escape moral responsibility. Our lives are the product of our thoughts and actions. It suggests awareness of our actions so that we can grow and change in positive ways. The law of karma is meant to direct our awareness to the present and the future. Our self-awareness and moral responsibility can help us to grow and evolve. Our tomorrow can be constructed today.

Jainism is all about tapping our creative potential and of realizing and monitoring the creative force within us. It is not an austere turning back on life. Its message is all about the transforming of ourselves -- and with that the world around us through amity, appreciation, compassion, nonviolence, equilibrium, and concord, about ways to make our living significant and meaningful.

The Language Instinct

2009-01-01T07:30:00.000-08:00

Language sets the limits as to what humans can experience, understand and accomplish. If a language lacks specific concepts or if the people no longer understand those concepts, then their meaning and power cease to be available to them. We see this in the breakdown of economics, knowing the source of our food, religion and how many times it has spliced from its foundation, among so many other things in this world. The words of language have become loaded.

As a fish is unaware that it lives in water , we now live in a "reality" contrived by the words, concepts, and theories of thinkers throughout time that continued to change thier meaning. The "reality" we've accepted is unconsciously a part of our awareness. "Idea," "matter," and "property" are much more than intellectual frameworks, they tell us what our "reality" is.

We now see and hear and touch a "reality" concocted from past thinkers' ideas...those which we've chosen to adopt. What we experience is limited to what their concepts allow us to see, consider possible, think, and do. Our present "reality" now seems so complete and unquestionable that few people have the ability to capture the sense of a different reality. This is a very narrow path. The road less traveled in a sense. The ones who dare to trust their intuition and find out how the meaning of this language evolved and what it really means are a select few.

All we know is learned through the language we use. Our perceptions are formed and controlled by language. Through our use of a common language, we create a cultural store of meanings about the world and ourselves.

When we desire a connection to the origins of language what occurs in this new language is the rediscovery and restoration of words and meanings which have been lost through disuse, ignorance, or rejection. In the contemporary world, many humans no longer have a grasp of essential concepts--because they're never been taught them, have forgotten them, no longer have any interest in them, misunderstand them, or have accepted a false definition of the concepts.
At present, most humans have lost the real meaning of "inspiration." They've been conditioned to believe that it's merely a mild form of positive affect or effect, as in the phrase: "That music is certainly inspiring."

Inspiration is actually a spiritual faculty which has been forsaken through ignorance and neglect. An act of inspiration occurs when a person allows a new entity (person, force, concept, meaning, sensation, image) to flow through her mind or being from a higher source. A new idea, for example, does not come merely from a rearranging of concepts or words, but arises from a deeper organ of apprehension within.

Inspiration can lead to awareness of the reality of oneness of all things where that reality was not present in a person's awareness prior to the experience of inspiration.

"How, in the contemporary period, can we evoke the imagery that communicates the most profound and most richly developed sense of experiencing life? These images must point past themselves to that ultimate truth which must be told: that life does not have any one absolutely fixed meaning. These images must point past all meanings given, beyond all definitions and relationships, to that really ineffable mystery that is just the existence, the being of ourselves and of our world."

"If we give that mystery an exact meaning we diminish the experience of its real depth. But when a poet carries the mind into a context of meanings and then pitches it past those, one knows that marvelous rapture that comes from going past all categories of definition. Here we sense the function of metaphor that allows us to make a journey we could not otherwise make, past all categories of definition."

Joseph Campbell, Thou Art That:
Transforming Religious Metaphors

Metta Sutta

2009-01-01T07:19:00.000-08:00

Buddha's words on loving kindness

This is what should be done
By one who is skilled in goodness,
And who knows the path of peace:
Let them be able and upright,
Straightforward and gentle in speech.
Humble and not conceited,
Contented and easily satisfied.
Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways.
Peaceful and calm, and wise and skillful,
Not proud and demanding in nature.
Let them not do the slightest thing
That the wise would later reprove.
Wishing: In gladness and in saftey,
May all beings be at ease.
Whatever living beings there may be;
Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none,
The great or the mighty, medium, short or small,
The seen and the unseen,
Those living near and far away,
Those born and to-be-born,
May all beings be at ease!

Let none deceive another,
Or despise any being in any state.
Let none through anger or ill-will
Wish harm upon another.
Even as a mother protects with her life
Her child, her only child,
So with a boundless heart
Should one cherish all living beings:
Radiating kindness over the entire world
Spreading upwards to the skies,
And downwards to the depths;
Outwards and unbounded,
Freed from hatred and ill-will.
Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down
Free from drowsiness,
One should sustain this recollection.
This is said to be the sublime abiding.
By not holding to fixed views,
The pure-hearted one, having clarity of vision,
Being freed from all sense desires,
Is not born again into this world

Happy New Years!

2008-12-31T22:07:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year everyone!

O Divine Mother,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned....
it is there we find what heaven is all about.

how do we follow our bliss?

2008-12-28T10:45:00.000-08:00

Bliss is within...it's true, but how do we get to it? Where do we begin in our everyday lives?
Following Your Bliss...that simple little phrase seemed quite foolish to me for a number of years. It seemed so selfish, so hedonistic. How can anyone just follow their bliss?? There's work to be done, bills to be paid, matters of consequence to take care of. But now, it is very clear that the simple phrase "Follow Your Bliss" is exactly right!

If one imagines bliss to be the satisfaction of day-to-day lusts, and pursues a life of self-centered actions, eventually one will discover that such trivial goals do not bring any lasting sense of true satisfaction. The self-centered path is hollow, unfulfilling and fails to bring any lasting peace. The transient delights are not bliss. Bliss is not a transient place, and bliss is not a self-centered place. True bliss is beyond all such petty, selfish pursuits.

Remember that bliss is not synonymous with happiness. Happiness is a feeling of contentment in the present moment, but bliss is what makes you jump up and dance for joy. Bliss is the state of being fully alive. You can be blissful under any circumstances.

The pursuit of bliss is not at all about being self-centered. There is no bliss in the little self. The real pursuit of bliss is exactly the opposite... it is the setting aside of the little self, a rising above the little self, an awakening to the Divine.

The key to the phrase "Follow Your Bliss" is discovering what true bliss really is. True bliss is not momentary. True bliss is not monetary. True bliss is not self-centered. True bliss makes no demands of anyone. True bliss does not require fame or fortune. It's free! And it's available in every moment. In the simplest of terms, bliss arises when "ego" departs.

Bliss arises when one is in harmony with "true self". Bliss arises when cravings and attachments have departed. Bliss arises when the petty desires of the little self have given way to the Divine Harmony of the True Self. The little self imagines that it is very important, has great authority and exercises control over the events of our lives... but, really, that is not true. Actually, there is very little that happens each day that we have any control over whatsoever. The workings of Life do not follow our whims.

When one begins to enjoy the witnessing of the awesome spectacle of Life and rises above the little self's petty whims, the Divine Harmony of all of nature becomes apparent. Every person has the capacity, and indeed the need, to discover this Divine Harmony. All of the longing and separation and selfishness of this world can be instantly vaporized by being in harmony with what is.

In every moment, bliss is awaiting discovery, longing to be expressed. In every moment, bliss is ready and waiting to shine forth. Your bliss, your own realization of the bliss of living in Harmony with all that exists, will be a unique expression of Life flowing through you. You don't need to do anything other than allow harmony and bliss to happen.

The greatest imaginable joy is in discovering the Divine Song that wants to express itself in a unique way though you. There is no grander pleasure than dancing the Divine Dance that is uniquely you.

That's Bliss! It may come from cooking, from meditation, from nature, from being with animals, for caring for the sick, even for the pettiest of tasks. Whatever spaeks to your heart within in where it lives and breathes inside of you....

So, if you'd like to find a better way of life, a life full of love, harmony and beauty, a life full of bliss, then it's absolutely necessary to take time each and every day to visit your own "bliss station", a place where all that matters is learning to become aware of who you are and what you are becoming, a place where love, harmony and beauty are able to bloom and flower in complete safety and tranquility.

Here are some examples that I do...

Study or read something new to expand your mind
Listen to music you love
Stop self-critizing
Play with animals
Cook something new and inventive
Forget the rules
Take time to sit with yourself quietly (that means no tv...;-))
Notice the beauty in everyone
Face one fear each day
Dance dance dance
Yoga stretches the mind body and soul
Take deep breathes in and out
Savor chocolate or anything sweet for that matter
Listen to your intuition
Never never give up on your heart
Be gentle with yourself
Throw shame and worry out the window
Love yourself and you will love others

bliss is within

2008-12-24T22:28:00.000-08:00

I am opening my heart to the possibility of making my dreams reality. Really and truly...no just talking about them anymore. I have found in the last few months that going towards what I have always desired and wanted is worth risking it all...and the scariest part of all of it is that is really starts to happen...in every area of my life it is....

Scary because it is true that what we fear most is deserving our dreams to come true. And when we can let it go...pure and absolute bliss. ;-)

love is all you need

2008-12-23T14:39:00.000-08:00

taking time to connect to those we don't feel we are like, can be challenging, but ultimately so fruitful for our souls. We grow expansive and generate more compassion and understanding for all. Slowly it becomes clear that there are no words to express or show or prove because loving someone for who they are is loving them exactly where they are...who am I to say where someone should be or what speaks to their heart? When our only responsibility is to love them...and we practice this...LOVE is all that is needed. And something happens in that moment....we deeply love ourselves.

Love as Alchemy

2008-12-12T20:13:00.000-08:00

Dedicated to the intimate love I have experienced many times...

I am truly blessed.

When we fall in love, this usually ushers in a special period of time, one that has a certain glow and magic. Glimpsing into another person's beauty and feelings, our heart opening in response to this person provides a taste of absolute love, a pure blend of openness and warmth and non-judgement. This being to being connection reveals pure gold at the heart of our very nature. Showing us that qualities like beauty, deep passion, tenderness, generosity, kindness, awe, joy, delight, and thoughtfulness are real.

Yet opening to another also means that everything flushes to the surface. This entails all kinds of conditioned patterns and obstacles. These things unfortunately tend to shut the loved one out and away from us. Our deepest wounds, our grasping and desperation, our worst fears, our mistrust, our rawest emotional triggers points. As a relationship develops, we often find that we don't have full access to the gold of our true nature with one another, simply because it remains embedded in the core of our conditioned patterns...and so we continually fall from grace and lose that gold we so long for. We sabotage our own happiness with our loved one and with ourselves.

To gain greater access to the gold in our nature, a certain alchemy is required: the refining of our conditioned emotional pattens. There are two areas that need to be addressed and balanced. Heaven..or the vast space of perfect openness, Earth...our imperfect limited human form...

When the controlling ego cooks and melts down, a beautiful evolutionary person starts to emerge- the genuine person who embodies the qualities of pure perfect love....true gold....

To get to this true essence of gold in our relationship we can use the approach of manure. This metaphorically is the place where things are shitty so to speak. What is manure...? Waste decaying, yet something is being fed, while still others are being born out of this shit to create a beautiful garden. This is the place we avoid showing others, really ourselves as well. We need to give ourselves a chance at exploring the large area that exists in our being. If we nurture it not only will we feed life itself, but in the process we heal this massive part of ourselves...and even better yet while sharing it, we get to strengthen this process through our rawness in our intimate relationships.

This personal exploration of giving, exposing, and extending yourself out completely, has the capacity of opening your world up in so many ways. We work from the inside out, tearing out, destroying, and finding there is a sense of nothingness...in this nothingness is where we can finally start really planting the essence of our being. This is where meditation takes us.....

Taking this personal growth into our relationships is showing that we embrace our imperfections. We are willing to come apart at the seams, to be dismantled (this makes me think of a great movie about that called I Heart Huckabees), to let our old ego structures fall apart, so we can begin to embody sparks of the essence at our core. We have to allow these messy parts to come to the surface. It's not that the ego is bad or horrible. In fact it is necessary in the way that it provides the essential hootspa that makes this transformation into gold possible. We must not run away from it....when we do this because a relationship has become difficult, we turn away from ourselves and our own potential breakthroughs. Fleeing the raw, wounded places in ourselves because we don't think we can handle them is a form of self-rejection and self-abandonment that turns our feeling connected body into a stoic place.

A deep intimate connection with someone will bring up all our love wounds. Keeping "above " this in a relationship can cause unhealed wounds to be reopened yet unfaced. It will come out in unconscious behavior like dried up passion, or distractive judgements on each other. Intimate personal connecting cannot evolve unless these old wounds are faced, acknowledged and freed up.

As wonderful as moments of being to being union can be, the alchemical play of joining heaven and earth in a relationship involves a subtle and beautiful dance. Personal intimacy evolves out of the dancing ground of dualities. Personal and trans-personal, known and unknown, death and birth, openness and limitation, clarity and chaos, hellish clashes and heavenly bliss. Showing this skin allows for deep transformation through forcing us to keep waking up, dropping preconceptions, expanding our sense of who we are, and learning to work with ALL the different aspects of our humanity.

When we are in the midst of this chaos, it may seem like we are in some fiendish plot. We finally find someone we really love and then the most difficult things start to emerge...fear, distrust, unlove, disillusion, resentment, blame, confusion. YET....the fact that this brings up our wounds and defenses forward into the light of someone we love is really love's grace. For love can only heal what presents itself to be healed. It is in this grace of intimacy that we feel safe enough to face and heal these things. The best cannot come out unless the worst comes out as well.

Riding these waves of feeling rather than becoming submerged in them. Seeing a relationship as cyclical rather than linear. The waves of up and down...the downward cycle where things look bleak and miserable...are only a part of the circle. ;-) Having a full conscious experience of the downward cycle as its occurring, instead of fighting it, lets us be available for those moments of illumination. The full spectrum is what keeps the relationship fresh and interesting. It will only stay that way if we see this as a circle. Then we can accept the ways that those we deeply love are different from us...in their background, values, perspectives, qualities, sensitivities, preferences, ways of doing things and finally...their destiny.

In the end, to love another requires dropping all our agendas, hopes, and fears, so that we may look into our loved one and see the sacred other. That is where we can become alchemists...transforming our relationships into gold. ;-)

Hindu misunderstandings

2008-12-06T19:59:00.000-08:00

Hinduism says that there is one God. Just as a man is called "father" by this son, "husband" by his wife, "son" by this father, and so on, God is called by various names and worshipped in various forms depending on the mood and approach of the devotee. God as one is conceptually overwhelming to mankind. There have been many ways that religion has tried to help humans grasp this concept. There are as many aspects to God as there are different forms of life on our incredible planet. My sister Lauren wrote a post about the many aspects of God and I couldn't agree more.
She writes..."In this world that we live in, so many people claim to know God. Some of the claimers say they are Christians, some say another religion, but insist it’s the same God. Most everyone says, “God is love”. And He is….but He is so much more.

In fact, God’s character is vast, and love is just one attribute. If you claim to know God, did you know that He is all of the following?…..

God is: Wisdom, Infinitude, Sovereignty, Holiness, Trinity, Omniscience, Faithfulness, Love, Omnipotence, Self-sufficiency, Self-existence, Justice, Immutability, Mercy, Eternal, Goodness, Gracious, Omnipresence"

I find that yoga has deepened my connection to the many aspects of God. Yoga means union with God. It is in this union that we see the many faces, names, and attibutes of god. In Hinduism, when God is worshipped to remove hurdles, He is worshipped as "Ganesha". When God is worshipped as wisdom, She is "Saraswathi". Similarly, when a devotee wants to worship God as the unconditional love found in mother ,they may worship as "Kali". When a devotee wants to worship God as a child of wonder, they may worship as "Krishna". If a devotee wants to worship God as the formless, attributeless, omnipresent transcedent being, they may worship as "Brahman". By all these various forms and names, the devotee very well knows that they are worshipping God alone.

So Hinduism is monotheistic. Hinduism also accepts that all religions talk about the one God. It does not have concepts like the god of the Egyptians and the god of the Jews, which basically implies that there are many gods. The dangerous thing about this is that God is Everything and in separating these "gods" we are actually separating ourselves from God. Hinduism says that the god of the Hindus, Egyptians, Jews, Christians, Muslims, Aztecs, Mayans, etc... are all the same God. Hinduism says that all are worshipping the same God in different ways. Again, one way is not better than the other way. All ways to worship God are accepted by God if performed with faith and devotion.

In fact, it goes one step ahead than other religions. Not only that it says there is only one God; it says that everything in this universe are manifestations of God. In Hinduism, there is no the concept of "creation" in the literal sense of the word. It is God who becomes or manifests as the universe. The universe is not different from God. Everything is God. So, the devotee can take anything which they understand as a form of God, and worship Him in that way. The omniscient God knows that the devotee is worshipping Him. The exact name and form do not matter. The attitude and sincerity is what matters.

So much of what we do not understand we fear, we condemn, we judge. All religion came from the same source...within. Parables and myths have been told to connect these truths. Hindu mythology, not unlike the parables or fables told in Jewish traditions, or Christian ones for that matter are symbolic truths. What is important of a fable is the moral of the story. The same with Hindu mythology, if you want to read the interpretations of that mythology you should read the commentaries of the sages, or the upanishads....just as one can read the Bible with a literal tongue and miss its meaning...when one finds the source of these metaphoric fables, one finds that the truth has been told by the sages throughout all of time and that it is universal. Beyond names, beyond stories, beyond cultures...it is there we find the Divine Mother.

Aummmmm, Peace, Peace, Peace

truth can be buried but it will always be dug up again

2008-12-05T16:33:00.000-08:00

What I have known in my heart has always been true. That is why the great teachers, gurus, masters, sages, and saints all tell us this. To listen within. And in time it presents itself. I can not tell you how many things have been validated in my life according to trusting what was already there.

http://www.vexen.co.uk/religion/christianity_types.html

It is time to come together and let go of these many religions. We are all connected. We are all one. The universal story is the same. Different names or places but the meaning is the same. Love. That is all. Love.

the journey continues to grow deeper

2008-12-02T15:26:00.000-08:00

So for those of you who do not know...the next leg of my education and journey is to study Ayurveda Medicine. To those who have not heard of it I compiled a bit of info on it. A quick synopsis from my point of view to yours is that it's a holistic form of medicine that's really more about an entire way of life. It includes herbal remedies, food as medicine, yoga, massage, meditation, color and sound therapies, as well as gem therapy.
Ayurveda is India’s traditional, natural system of medicine that has been practiced for more than 5,000 years. Ayurveda is a Sanskrit word that literally translated means "science of life" or "practices of longevity." Ayurveda was the system of health care conceived and developed by the seers (rishis) and natural scientists through centuries of observations, experiments, discussions, and meditations. For several thousand years their teachings were passed on orally from teacher to student; about the fifth to sixth century BC, elaborately detailed texts were written in Sanskrit, the ancient language of India. For many years Ayurveda flourished and was used by rich and poor alike in India and Southeast Asia.

Manuscript page from Atharva-Veda, earliest Indian text (approx. 1500 BC) with much medical information, one of several Vedas (meaning "knowledge"), upon which Ayurvedic medical practice is based on. Ayurvedic manuals were written by Charaka, Sushruta, and Vagbhata that give detailed descriptions of the various practices. Charaka listed 500 hundred remedies and Sushruta over 700 vegetable medicines.

Ayurveda emphasizes prevention of disease, rejuvenation of our body systems, and extension of life span. The profound premise and promise of Ayurveda is that through certain practices, not only can we prevent heart disease and make our headaches go away, but we can also better understand ourselves and the world around us, live a long healthy life in balance and harmony, achieve our fullest potential, and express our true inner nature on a daily basis.

Ayurveda provides an integrated approach to preventing and treating illness through lifestyle interventions and natural therapies. It is based on the view that the elements, forces, and principles that comprise all of nature - and that holds it together and make it function - are also seen in human beings. In Ayurveda, the mind (or consciousness) and the body (or physical mass) not only influence each other - they are each other. Together they form the mind-body. The universal consciousness is an intelligent, aware ocean of energy that gives rise to the physical world we perceive through our five senses. Ayurvedic philosophy and practices link us to every aspect of ourselves and remind us that we are in union with every aspect of nature, each other, and the entire universe.

There can be no mental health without physical health, and vice versa. In Ayurveda, symptoms and diseases that could be categorized as mental thoughts or feelings are just as important as symptoms and diseases of the physical body. Both are due to imbalances within a person, and both are treated by restoring the natural balance mentally and physically. In Ayurveda your whole life and lifestyle must be in harmony before you can enjoy true well being. Lifestyle interventions are a major Ayurvedic preventive and therapeutic approach.

In India, Ayurvedic practitioners receive state-recognized, institutionalized training in parallel to their physician counterparts. The research base is growing concerning the physiological effects of meditative techniques and yoga postures in Indian medical literature and Western psychological literature. Published studies have documented reductions in cardiovascular disease risk factors, including blood pressure, cholesterol, and reaction to stress.

Laboratory and clinical studies on Ayurvedic herbal preparations and other therapies have shown them to have a range of potentially beneficial effects for preventing and treating certain cancers, treating infectious disease, treating diabetes, promoting health, and treating aging. Mechanisms underlying these effects may include free-radical scavenging effects, immune system modulation, brain neurotransmitter modulation, and hormonal effects.
The basic premise of Ayurveda is that the entire cosmos or universe is part of one singular absolute. Everything that exists in the vast external universe (macrocosm), also appears in the internal cosmos of the human body (microcosm). The human body consisting of 50-100 million cells, when healthy, is in harmony, self-perpetuating and self-correcting just as the universe is. The ancient Ayurveda text, Charaka, says, "Man is the epitome of the universe. Within man, there is as much diversity as in the world outside. Similarly, the outside world is as diverse as human beings themselves." In other words, all human beings are a living microcosm of the universe and the universe is a living macrocosm of the human beings.

I find this the way of life the song of my heart. Finally a place to grow and study all the things that have long facinated me. And to help the world with this desire I have I know in my heart is my purpose and dharma. ;-)

I will be moving to Grass Valley in Northern California to study at California College of Aryuvedic Medicine. Anyone who wishes to know more about this please feel free to contact me.

Much love and many blessings,

Hila

Heart loss

2008-09-19T14:35:00.000-07:00

It hasn't ever been the same with my heart since I was convicted in my heart and it got tattered. I love yes....I love deeply yes. But to love like you KNOW this is it. That this is my partner in crime, my lover, my teammate, my adventurer....I can't seem to be able to let my heart get there again. Close yes. But to surrender...no. Guess I am waiting to see if the heart I connect with will let go. Is this what happens after the betrayal of the heart? When does it ever mend fully? Do I have to completely let go of loving you in order for me to love someone else....? I mean how can loving someone keep us anything but free? Isn't that what love is?

I had not posted this and kept it personal, but today 1-19-09 it is time.

exposing the skin

2008-09-13T15:11:00.000-07:00

There is such freedom to be vulnerable...no pressure on oneself to meet the image that we want others to think we are...who does that really hurt anyway? So much investment to try and portray ourselves as perfect. There is a beautiful release in being oneself. Not only are we spending less time on building an image we can't never attain, but the energy we do use is fruitful. We can make truer connections with ourself and with others when we share the beauty of our blemished souls.

I may bare my soul often, with ones who may not even be deserving of it....and I have even been in situations where this is used against me...but I would not change a thing...holding back who we truly are does no one any good. If I have things to learn, the universe will see that clearly or if I need to get out of a situation that will be made clear too, and my path will be true and not a mask. When I have done this masquerade party it only confuses me others and the universe on what it is I really want. Since I have tried to be more trusting the path is not so convoluted. It isn't full of fog, it is clear...and that makes me so happy. ;-)

I am ready for the next step of my journey...Was listening to some music with James in the car the other day and he had on his Van Halen. His favorite. This goes to show you again that truth is everywhere you look, you just have to find that nugget. It is worth it though...As I was listening to the 80s icon band I started to hear the lyrics... "You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real...might as well jump"
YES! I thought to myself....I have been rolling with the punches to get to whats real...and now that I am trusting that in myself it is time for me to jump.....

So with that said I am jumping into a three month stay at an ashram to focus my goals and center my heart and study cooking yoga deepening my spiritual life and continuing to grow and trust that exposed skin is the only way for this girl to go....!

becoming a guardian

2008-08-26T10:48:00.000-07:00

never used to protect myself in regards to my own heart....it is time to truly become the guardian of my infinite abyss

evolving

2008-08-25T17:20:00.000-07:00

Letting you go is not losing you even though my schema's take over and try to tell me otherwise. Real pain, the gnawing, desperate kind, comes when people are so lost to each other on the inside. I am trying to support the movements you are making for your life and am trying to realize that it is not personal. This breaking up allows you to feel closer to me, because your not "with" me. Great as a friend not so great at intimacy...or just not ready for the all encompassing infinite love that I desire. But you don't have to break away in a thousand little ways because you have broken away in one big way. You made a choice. We are bound to each other in a new way....evolving into friendship may have been what was always meant. Trusting and loving you even in my ache.

Net-free community in Colorado

2008-08-08T12:35:00.000-07:00

The United States’ first net-zero community is coming soon to Arvada Colorado! Dubbed Geos, the development will employ a sterling roster of alternative energy strategies to cut its consumption fossil fuels and become completely self-sustainable. Lately we’ve seen a slew of similar communities springing up around the world, from Canada to India to Estonia and we couldn’t be happier, since it’s future-forward communities such as these that are paving the pathway to a brighter future.

geos, geos colorado, arvada colorado, sustainable community, solar community, sustainable building, geothermal energy, solar energy, net-zero energy

Geos is an innovative net-zero community that will harness energy from the Earth and the Sun to completely eliminate its consumption of fossil fuels. The community will be situated on an area of 25 acres, bordered on the West by the Croke Canal, and on the South by Ralston Creek. It will comprise 250 planned homes ranging from 850 to 3500+ square feet, and four distinct neighborhoods: Entry mixed-Use, Beachfront mixed-use, Garden Community and Checkerboard Blocks. The community will be interlaced with a network of plazas, parks, and trails, and will connect a diverse community of people and lifestyles.

The community plans to employ both active and passive solar energy collection measures to meet daytime heating and electrical energy needs. Homes will be constructed to maximize solar gain and will feature checkerboard placements for complete access to sunlight, east-to-west floorplans to maximize exposure to the Sun, strategic placement of doors and windows, and scientifically engineered awnings. Rooftops will be outfitted with photovoltaic solar panels that will send their excess power to the grid for storage.

For days when the sun doesn’t shine, geothermal energy will be used to meet the energy needs of the community. An underground geothermal exchange system will utilize the Earth’s energy to provide hot water and heating during Winters, while helping to cool buildings during the Summer.

An energy monitoring system will inform Geos homeowners of their energy usage. With this excellent array of features Geos is set to create a remarkable precedent for living an entirely self-sustainable lifestyle.

Designed by Michael Tavel Architects and David Kahn Studio, the community has been conferred the 2006 Colorado AIA Citation Award, the 2006 Denver AIA Honor Award, and the 2006 Denver AIA Sustainability Award. Groundbreaking is scheduled for the fall of 2008, and first homes will be ready by the 2nd quarter of 2009.

WALL-E

2008-08-07T10:39:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful film! This film was ground-breaking, stunning, energetic, intelligent, filled with gorgeous visuals, and genuinely heartwarming.... I was dazzled. I am happy to see Pixar doing this kind of film. I was actually shocked when I heard of the plot line. In a very good way. It's about time someone took the time to say where we just might all be headed....

WALL-E is a lovable little robot who spends his days crushing and storing the mountains of rubbish that now cover the Earth in our doomed future. The humans have long ago deserted the polluted planet, leaving behind a team of droids to clear up their mess. But after hundreds of years, WALL-E is the last one still functioning. Even with few words in the first half WALL-E manages to touch our heartstrings with sentiment. He has only a cockroach for company and lives in a rusty storage bin where he spends the evenings carefully sorting a collection of junk he’s kept that mean something to him.

WALL-E’s world is turned on its head when he falls for a shiny robot called EVE (Eve-a), sent by humanity to look for any sign that the planet may be recovering. A bit neurotic, little WALL-E tries to get up the courage to speak to the more sophisticated girl-robot, often finding his attempts to impress backfire literally. If you don't feel touched or get a bit teary eyed when you see the montage of WALL-E trying to rouse EVE from her stand-by mode, or when the pair later swirl and dance through space, you may not have a romantic bone in your body. It was as romantic as anything ever achieved in cinema, human or otherwise...Touched my heart deeply...
Yet it’s when WALL-E leaves Earth that things get lost in space as he lands aboard mankind’s last ship to pursue his intergalactic affair. We see what the human race has become and it's not pretty in any sense of the word. Terribly obese and completely in a zone unaware of anything other than themselves...including other humans....they are on hover chairs that take them everywhere. They have a computer screen in front of there faces all day long to vitually "do" whatever they like. There is no interaction with each other and they heavily rely on the robots for everything. This speaks volumes to me on what we could all become as the world continues to get less connected with each other and more connected to "technology".

Then something great happens...WALL-E connects with everything he meets just because he isn't afraid to be himself or risk it all for his love EVE. And we start to believe not just in him but in the humans too. Hope comes in a small seedling and is represented beautifully that hope can never die. Focus to reclaim what not only had been lost but to begin to change and do good things for one another sets the tone for the second half. Pixar continues to be a child prodigy whose creative genius appears to have no boundaries. I was in joyful tears by the end...loved it!

My new job...

2008-08-05T11:53:00.000-07:00

I work at a place called Nourishing Wellness and I feel as if I have finally found my niche in LA with work. A place I can grow with and have lots to offer as well. They are a husband wife team that wants to change the way people see themselves and their bodies. From the inside out....here's the promo on their website...

Helping You Eat Well, Be Well, and Live Well!
At Nourishing Wellness™, our goal is to help you extend your "healthspan" by promoting lifelong optimal health.

Be healthy!
Have more energy
Lose weight
Feel vibrant at any age.
Personalized medical and coaching programs
Cutting edge nutrition and health seminars
Unique wellness products and tools
By combining the power of preventive medicine, cutting edge nutritional science and ancient food wisdom, our goal is to inspire, educate and empower you to discover an integrate the pleasures of active living and healthy eating into your busy lifestyle.

Jeanne the nutrtionist is such a kindred spirit and she deals with everyone without judgment. Inspiring! They work in a preventative manner and use natural and alternative methods to heal. In fact she uses flower essences! I am so excited to be in this environment... Does this not sound perfect for me???

Anyway just wanted to share with you all how blessed I feel to be somewhere I can grow and be myself. I'll keep you posted!

Healing Hatred by his Holiness the Dalai Lama

2008-08-02T09:14:00.000-07:00

The destructive effects of hatred are very visible, very obvious and immediate. For example, when a strong or forceful thought of hatred arises, at that very instant it overwhelms one totally and destroys one's peace and presence of mind. When that hateful thought is harboured inside, it makes one feel tense and uptight, and can cause loss of appetite, leading to loss of sleep, and so forth.

If we examine how anger or hateful thoughts arise in us, we will find that, generally speaking, they arise when we feel hurt, when we feel that we have been unfairly treated by someone against our expectations. If in that instant we examine carefully the way anger arises, there is a sense that it comes as a protector, comes as a friend that would help our battle or in taking revenge against the person who has inflicted harm on us. So the anger or hateful thought that arises appears to come as a shield or a protector. But in reality that is an illusion. It is a very delusory state of mind.

On the contrary, if one reacts to a situation in a negative way instead of in a tolerant way, not only is there no immediate benefit, but also a negative attitude and feeling is created which is the seed of one's future downfall. From the Buddhist point of view, the consequence of taking revenge has to be faced by the individual alone in his or her future life. So not only is there no immediate benefit, it is harmful in the long run for the individual.

However, if one has been treated very unfairly and if the situation is left unaddressed, it may have extremely negative consequences for the perpetrator of the crime. Such a situation calls for a strong counteraction. Under such circumstances, it is possible that one can, out of compassion for the perpetrator of the crime and without generating anger or hatred, actually take a strong stand and take strong countermeasures. In fact, one of the precepts of the Bodhisattva vows is to take strong countermeasures when the situation calls for it. If a Bodhisattva doesn't take strong countermeasures when the situation requires, then that constitutes an infraction of one of the vows.

In addition, as the Entry into the Middle Way points out, not only does the generation of hateful thoughts lead to undesirable forms of existence in future lives, but also, at the moment that strong feelings of anger arise, no matter how hard one tries to adopt a dignified pose, one's face looks rather ugly. There is an unpleasant expression, and the vibration that the person sends is very hostile. People can sense it, and it is almost as if one can feel steam coming out of that person's body. Indeed not only are human beings capable of sensing it, but pets and other animals also try to avoid that person at that instant.

If we examine how anger or hateful thoughts arise in us, we will find that, generally speaking, they arise when we feel hurt, when we feel that we have been unfairly treated by someone against our expectations.

These are the immediate consequences of hatred. It brings about a very ugly, unpleasant physical transformation of the individual. In addition, when such intense anger and hatred arise, it makes the best part of our brain, which is the ability to judge between right and wrong and assess long-term and short-term consequences, become totally inoperable. It can no longer function. It is almost as if the person had become crazy. These are the negative effects of generating anger and hatred. When we think about these negative and destructive effects of anger and hatred, we realise that it is necessary to distance ourselves from such emotional explosions. Insofar as the destructive effects of anger and hateful thoughts are concerned, one cannot get protection from wealth; even if one is a millionaire, one is subject to these destructive effects of anger and hatred. Nor can education guarantee that one will be protected from these effects. Similarly, the law cannot guarantee protection. Even nuclear weapons, no matter how sophisticated the defence system may be, cannot give one protection or defend one from these effects. The only factor that can give refuge or protection from the destructive effects of anger and hatred is the practice of tolerance and patience.

flower essences

2008-07-27T11:23:00.000-07:00

I have been studying and treating myself and others with these natural remedies. So what exactly are flower essences? They are liquid extracts used to address profound issues of emotional well-being, soul development, and mind-body health. They are part of an emerging field of subtle energy medicine, which also includes homeopathy, acupuncture, color therapy, therapeutic touch also known as healing touch or reiki.
Flower essences have been used for centuries, however there first modern form was first developed in the 1930’s by an English physician, Dr. Edward Bach. He prepared 38 remedies, mostly from English wildflowers. But there are now so many different kinds of flower essences from all around the world. My first remedy actually came from Tucson. There is a little company called Desert Essences that have produced an array of tinctures that grow locally in the desert. With my first essence I was not only fascinated at how well it worked, I knew in my heart it was my calling to work with them. It is an amazing modality that has no side effects and is incredibly gentle...with all the world getting on anxiety meds and anti-depressants as well as general stresses at an all time high these days, this seemed like a natural fit for me. On top of the fact that my family has been plagued with emotional traumas and imbalances....I knew the moment I started studying them I wanted to know all about them and help others.

It is made with intention like homeopathy. They are diluted, potentized herbal infusions or decoctions, prepared from wildflowers or pristine garden blossoms. They are made directly in the “laboratory of nature,” where the four alchemical elements of earth, water, air and fire are found in harmonious balance. To this is added the fifth,quintessential,element of the sensitive awareness and attunement of the preparer. The fresh, dew-filled blossoms are gathered in the early morning of a clear, sunny day. Floating on the surface of a bowl of water, they are infused by the warmth and light of the sun into the water for several hours.

They are typically taken orally from a dropper bottle. You can take the drops directly and mix them in a glass of water. There are many others ways of using them, such as in misting sprayers, in a cream base, or in baths. Several flower essences can be taken together, and mixed in a dosage bottle or glass of water.
How do I decide which mental or emotional issues are most in need of assistance?
The best way to get involved in choosing flower essences is to read basic literature on the topic such as Choosing Flower Essences, the Flower Essence Repertory, and Flowers That Heal. All great reference books! The next step is to decide which mental and emotional issues are most important for your health and growth. Based on your choice, you then select the essence or essences which correspond with these
issues. You may also wish to talk with a friend or counselor, or to use an assessment questionnaire or repertory to help you sort through the many possible choices for flower essences. I am currently working on establishing a questionnaire to better assess others...

Will flower essences make me feel better? In my personal experience YES! I have found them to work immediately but depending on how sensitive you are to changes overall, it may take a bit longer. Certainly taking them over time has helped me be a more confident at ease individual and has helped me to to feel more alive and in touch with goals, values, and creativity. However, the essences do not create euphoria, nor do they banish pain and conflict. They work by stimulating awareness of our conflicts and challenges, and they strengthen our ability to work through the obstacles to our health and growth. Thus, taking flower essences may at times stimulate some discomfort and awareness of pain or conflict. This is a normal part of the journey towards wellness, and can lead to a much more complete state of health than the suppression of pain, or artificial stimulation of feelings through pharmaceutical drugs on a bio-chemical plane.

Flower essences do not work bio-chemically like aspirin does for a headache, but they can affect our experience of our bodies. Essences which help release emotional stress may result in less physical tension. Someone who overworks may discover
just how tired he or she really is. Flower essences can help people who suffer from physical illness by addressing the emotional responses to the illness, and by
working with the underlying conflicts and tensions that may have contributed to the onset of the illness. However, flower essences are not cures for any specific illness, and are chosen on the basis of mental and emotional issues, rather than specific physical ailments.

Unlike chemical drugs which suppress symptoms, flower essences are catalysts for emotional change, and work by stimulating awareness. Many people report general but discernible differences with essences. They may feel clearer, calmer, or better able to cope. Often it is the comments of others close to us which first alerts us to changes taking place.
Flower essences contain only minute traces of actual physical substance; they are primarily vibrational in nature, as are homeopathic remedies. This means that they are non-toxic and have no direct impact upon the body’s biochemistry, as do many
pharmaceutical and psychoactive drugs. Therefore, there is no such thing as an overdose from flower essences.

So how do flower essences work then you may be asking....
To understand how flower essences work requires a recognition that the human being is more than a physical body, but also incorporates a “body” of life energy, a “body” of sensitivity and feelings, and a spiritual essence or Self. Flower essences are energetic imprints of the life force of plants which interact with these subtle bodies of the human being, and evoke specific qualities within us. We can say that they work in a similar way to inspirational music or art, which carry meaning through the vehicle of sound or light, while the flower essences work through the medium of water.
This principle is known in physics as resonance. Just as a piano string will sound when its resonant note is sung, so our own “soul chords” respond to the “soul notes” of the flower essences which we need for our healing and growth. Unlike pharmaceutical drugs or conventional herbal medicines, the impact of the flower essences is not from direct physical or chemical intervention in our bodies. Flower essences work through the various human energy fields, which in turn influence mental, emotional and physical well-being.
Flower essence therapy utilizes a precise understanding that the thoughts, feelings and experiences of the human psyche are reflections of the same cosmic laws inherent in the growth patterns, shapes, colors, fragrances, and vital energies of Nature which are expressed in the flowering plant. Really fascinating stuff....this expression that we are all connected continues to speak to me and my world has become more alive everyday with this truth!

If anyone reading this might be interested in a diagnosis I would love to help. Please contact me at hilarisima@hotmail.com

lose yourself to find yourself

2008-07-26T11:18:00.000-07:00

We all desire to CONNECT....it is an essential part of living and being human. Connecting to other people, to a passion that is bigger than us and reminds us we are not alone, are both important in our own growth and evolution. When we open ourselves to connect we allow ourselves to be a part of a contribution to the world in which we live. We give to something that needs our souls. We trust our unique offering and find this promotes learning and personal growth for not only ourselves but for the world in which we live. Trusting that has been a difficult thing for me sometimes. Mostly because the gifts I have been given are a little strange to some. I have pushed down or written off some of these things because they were too wierd and I worried for my acceptance. Funny enough though now that I am beginning to really trust this part of me I am finding that not only am I accepted but I feel tremendous joy for trusting myself finally...and for the gifts I have been given. I surrender and fall back...its been a journey both exhilarating and scary...rocky and smooth. I now allow myself to breathe in my new age skin and be ok with that. to hope and to dream, to dive in and allow the surf tides and undertow to carry me as I swim towards my tomorrow. My path is clear.

I am not afraid to say who I am anymore. I am a healer. I have great intuition. I am an empath. I feel we are all connected to ALL. I study and treat illnesses with alternative medicine from the earth. In my desires I have found my path and it has given back to me in immesurable ways.

Beliefnet quiz

2008-07-11T11:07:00.000-07:00

Have you ever gone onto Beliefnet and taken the Belief Quiz? It's really rather interesting....if your interested check out this link.

http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html

I love this site as it has information regarding all religious and spiritual beliefs in one place...in harmony. ;-)

Anyway I recently took the quiz and was delightfully surprised at all the different backgrounds that appeared in my top 5 even.
Unitarian Universalism is certainly the only sect of Judeo-Christian beliefs that really spoke to my heart. I spent a year going to different churches and temples learning about people and their beliefs and sharing a love for God but seeing that they all experienced these beliefs a bit differently. When I went to the Unitarian church it felt like a place of learning and a broad acceptance of other sacred texts and cultures. I felt at home,so it shouldn't surprise me that I "scored" a 100%. ;-)

For my #2, it is wonderful to see Hinduism there because I am genuinely interested more and more daily and actually have never visited a Hindu temple, but I hold a great deal of respect to Gandhi... who I would call one of the great teachers of our time.

As far as my #3 New Age...I don't think there is anything new about it, but more of the old soul in me that connects with this. Healing with the world means a connection to that world, and I in fact, study herbs and food as medicine so it seems fitting that this would be in my top 5.

#4 I had explored Buddhism when I moved to Tucson and started meditating. I can appreciate much of what they believe as well...I am especially connected to this in my beliefs of non-violence for every living thing. I also understand the concept of accepting ourselves and trusting our true nature through the wisdom of no escape. Accepting myself has brought me much clarity and peace.

And lastly in my top 5....Quakers are awesome! Church service was a very different experience in that there was a sacred and stillness in their commonplace of worship that spoke of unity regarding all life and humanity. Their goal is humanitarian more than anything. They call themselves "Friends" and I couldn't agree more....

Overall this little quiz is a wonderful resource the shows me the deep reverence for all beliefs and all traditions. There are many ways to experience God and I am lucky to have had so many fruitful experiences....

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Hinduism (99%)
3. New Age (90%)
4. Mahayana Buddhism (90%)
5. Liberal Quakers (89%)
6. Neo-Pagan (86%)
7. New Thought (86%)
8. Jainism (76%)
9. Baha'i Faith (76%)
10. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (74%)
11. Taoism (73%)
12. Theravada Buddhism (67%)
13. Islam (66%)
14. Scientology (62%)
15. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (61%)
16. Reform Judaism (59%)
17. Orthodox Quaker (55%)
18. Secular Humanism (50%)
19. Orthodox Judaism (45%)
20. Sikhism(34%)
21. Seventh Day Adventist (30%)
22. Nontheist (27%)
23. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (24%)
24. Jehovah's Witness (24%)
25. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (20%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (16%)
27. Roman Catholic (16%)

No Coward Soul is Mine by Emily Bronte

2008-07-09T21:20:00.001-07:00

No coward soul is mine,
No trembler in the worlds storm-troubled sphere:
I see Heavens glories shine,
And faith shines equal, arming me from fear.

O God within my breast.
Almighty, ever-present Deity!
Life -- that in me has rest,
As I -- Undying Life -- have power in Thee!

Vain are the thousand creeds
That move mens hearts: unutterably vain;
Worthless as withered weeds,
Or idlest froth amid the boundless main,

To waken doubt in one
Holding so fast by Thine infinity;
So surely anchored on
The steadfast Rock of immortality.

With wide-embracing love
Thy Spirit animates eternal years,
Pervades and broods above,
Changes, sustains, dissolves, creates, and rears.

Though earth and man were gone,
And suns and universes ceased to be,
And Thou wert left alone,
Every existence would exist in Thee.

There is not room for Death,
Nor atom that his might could render void:
Thou -- Thou art Being and Breath,
And what Thou art may never be destroyed.

Don't Give Up

2008-07-07T16:01:00.000-07:00

I am reminded how small a thing it is to reach out in love to someone. Several years ago my sisters and I choreographed a dance to this song after my Dad lost his job with CCM. It meant the world to him. It meant alot to me...it moves me to this day the look on his face when the song completed.

We have the power to do such great things with our hearts. And when we Love without limits it speaks volumes.

Guided Heart Meditation

2008-07-06T16:01:00.001-07:00

Music heals

2008-07-05T17:38:00.000-07:00

I find that for me music speaks the words in a way that my heart can understand or maybe its the harmony that opens me up to my own healing, whatever the case, I just heard this and it reminded me of the simple wisdom in letting it be...

When I find myself in times of trouble, mother mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
And in my hour of darkness, she is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be , let it be
Wisper words of wisdom, let if be

And when the broken hearted people, living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be
For though they may be parted, there is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be , let it be
There will be answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be, let it be , let it be
Wisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light that shines on me
Shine until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music, mother mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be , let it be
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be
Let it be, let it be, let it be , let it be
Wisper words of wisdom, let it be

What a Difference

2008-07-01T16:51:00.000-07:00

I have learned that one receives more when one puts out positive vibrations. Negative reinforcement should be a thing of the past. Fear that I will get into trouble should not be what drives a person to do good, but rather that they know that encouragement and love feeds off of the positive attitude they project out into their environment. I continue to see these seeds sown in my own life and for that I am forever grateful. As we are human we forget these simple truths, which is why I share my insights. Some days I have to come back to my own words to remember. I had a truly remarkable day yesterday. It started out with me choosing to put forth good energy into myself...the rest came to me. ;-)

My first friend

2008-06-30T13:14:00.000-07:00

Once apon a time a very long time ago.....
My parents were friends with the Cassels. They had two children, Nathaniel and Hanneke. Nat was Kate's age and Hanneke was about mine....She has continued to keep in contact with my parents and goes to nashville once a year to teach at a Mark O'Conner camp. What's funny is I remember the first time she came to Nashville she was a student at that camp....

She is now an unbelievable musician whose talent is widely loved and appreciated. I am so amazed at her dedication. This girl is so inspiring to me.....

All that I am

2008-06-28T10:18:00.000-07:00

I have lots of layers and shades to me...each has a role to play...each one has the responsiblity to connect or disconnect with others. I must look beneath the surface of life towards the metaphoric. I am a lover that can share the hopes and dreams of a lifetime with my mate, I am a daughter whose love and respect will never die for for parents and will go through many emotional changes as to how she percieves them...as she changes, I am a friend of loyalty and growth that chooses to love and open all that she is, I am a sister that sees the profound differences in woman and appreciates each others journey, I am all of those things and the roles of the future too....a wife who embodies steadfastness, emotional security, and sense of home, a grandmother, the giver of unconditional love who represents the steadier more stable in me. I carry with me the meaning of each of these roles and honor them as sacred.

Things I love....

2008-06-26T12:12:00.000-07:00

The hope of each new day
Savoring a deliciously made meal
Sharing my heart with friends over coffee or tea
Passionate music that makes me wanna dance
Reading thoughts from many minds and backgrounds to bring new light into my life
The amazing presence of millions of people and their different ideas and beliefs
Having a sense of peace in my heart that can only come from love
Dedicating myself to a task and following through
The kindness of strangers
The reality of loss
The beauty of letting go of pain
A good cry for release
Accepting myself as I am
Hearing and seeing my sweet nieces laugh
Trusting in the big picture
Feeling incredibly lucky to get to be on this rock
Smelling the ocean air and hearing the waves crash
The Catalina mountains in Tucson
An overcast morning in California
Seeing the awe of the Rocky Mountains
The sabino canyon in the winter lightly dusted with snow against the bluest sky you have ever seen
Cactus waving hello
Every living creature
Protecting and nurturing the precious animals
Being sassy
The gifts and lessons of love my parents gave me
Nostalgia
Sissie pants...all three of them
Admiration for all that have come before me
History of the world
Understanding that some of us just know each other's hearts without words...

Doing your best

2008-06-25T10:02:00.000-07:00

Every morning I awake and go to take a shower I see a frame with a quote from Mother Teresa that my step-mom gave me for Christmas. Not only does it warm my heart to think of her while I read this but a great reminder on how to live each and every day. Thanks Holly for that.....

People are often unreasonable and self-centered
FORGIVE THEM ANYWAY
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives
BE KIND ANYWAY
If you are honest, people may cheat you.
BE HONEST ANYWAY
If you find happiness, people may be jealous.
BE HAPPY ANYWAY
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow
DO GOOD ANYWAY
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.
GIVE YOUR BEST ANYWAY
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
IT WAS NEVER BETWEEN YOU AND THEM ANYWAY

Signs all around me

2008-06-24T22:43:00.000-07:00

When I ate poorly I didn't hear my body well enough to tell me what I should avoid and how I should be treating it. I spent more time tuning it out and disconnecting myself from it. This goes for everything in life. Being aware I notice signs more every day, the world is always talking to me if I choose to listen to it. The source of truth exists inside me and all around me, in each and every thing on this planet. Of course there will be obstacles or underbrush but if I am really focused and listening the way is clear. I don't have to spend a long time off my course to take care of those obstacles and I will see the way back. My path will always call to me. It is my own natural fit that allows for my whole being...strengths and weaknesses. I have learned to accept myself instead of trying to condemn myself. This is how I was perfectly perfected. I must choose to listen to the world and its signs for me. Another's path will not be my own, but I can learn from it. I will grow stronger in my empathy and compassion to understand all life and all of it's many courses. My path may be heavily traveled or not traveled at all...but I will not be afraid of it and continue walking.

The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself.

Anais Nin

a diamond has many slivers....

2008-06-19T13:09:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to so many diferent people in my life that had made a change, or dove in to a deeper understanding of their own spirituality including myself. Each of them has a different path then my own. Understanding each path comes from a deep acknowledgement of one's heart and soul that it may be different on the outside but ultimatly we are ALL connected to one another. To truly understand and TRUST in the God of creation is to trust that we are all wired perfectly. For me that means spending time with each other's heart to understand why a different road works for you than myself. In the very being of ourselves we all need things...some of us need order, some of us need freedom, some of us need to be told what to believe because it is easier for some of us. Trusting God is knowing that there are no mistakes in the person nor the ultimate path the universe takes us. That is why I personally am not a believer in religion. It does not trust in this way. For as far back as we can remember, religion has been a source of contention, being the cause of many wars and countless deaths and sufferenings in the name of God. Most religions say that they are the only true religion and that all others are wrong. This is a result of the false belief of separateness - separate from God and separate from each other and nature. We are all a part of God because we exist. God can be interpreted in many different ways. Religions tend to teach that God is a separate entity, while other belief systems speak only of a 'Creative Force'.

The notion that God is a separate external being, and that we are born 'sinners' who have to get back into the good graces of God (fear-based belief system to keep us in a powerless state), makes god a judgemental vengeful God. Yet, God is LOVE, and there is no judgement. And the only "hell" is the one we create for ourselves here on Earth. There is NO one true religion, each religion has its truths and there are many paths we can choose to take that will lead us to to God. Trusting that is the biggest feat of all.....

We ALL have God, in each of us. Each a spark of the Divine Creative force (Love). We are here to experience life. We are all spiritual beings having an adventure, and we will all eventually return to the same place. There is no judgement and there is no separateness. Heaven and Hell are what we create for ourselves. It is time now to have respect for each and every different religion or belief system, and allow each person his/her right to follow the path or belief system of their choice - without preaching at them or trying to convert them, or even killing those of a different belief system.

If we truly want to look inside ourselves... go all the way down and you will find it...whatever that means for you. This is what it means for me. God is love. We are all connected. We should stop fearing each other's beliefs and opinions and start listening to one another's hearts. Words are just that. Jesus, the universe, Mother Earth, Budda, Lord etc...we attach meaning to these words, but if you took the words away you would see we all are connected. So as Bruce Cockburn says "like the nine million names of God, doesn't bring you any closer to anyone you can simply set eyes on..." With that said lets spend more time with one another.

For me, the different religions are
beautiful flowers from the same garden,
or they are branches of the same majestic tree.
Therefore, they are equally true,
though being received and interpreted
through human instruments equally imperfect.

~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

Following through...

2008-06-12T08:52:00.000-07:00

I have loved loved loved to cook for years now, but I became a vegetarian awhile back, and the thought of going to a regular culinary school and cooking with meat just didn't appeal. So I have been doing a bit of research and found one here in Los Angeles. They don't have the full program veggie, but a series of classes at least...for a bargain of a price...$325!!! It's not till Sept, but I am super excited about it... I think I really need to follow through on this one, not just for my own cooking but for an investment in my career. I was thinking once I am done with that to start my own veggie cooking classes in the convienence of your own home perhaps....Any thoughts or suggestions?

beautiful flowers

2008-06-11T19:30:00.001-07:00

I am living the sustainable and beautiful life here. I have the most amazing flower shop down the hill from me that gets all their flowers directly from local vendors. You get to hand pick your bouquet and feel great about supporting your community....plus so far in my experience they last a long time. Isn't this arrangement amazing?

In My Earthsuit

2008-06-10T09:22:00.000-07:00

Although this body is just my shell, it is also my instrument to take care of while I am here on this big rock. I will give it good things, listen to it's nature and blend with harmony the quest of my soul with this vehicle that drives me there. I will remember to enjoy treating it kindly...spending time in meditation, relaxing over a cup of tea, savoring a delicious meal, taking a long walk. Because it is the harmony of the body and soul which enriches me. Each wonderful thing in this world is for us to enjoy, not to control or possess, or fear...but to experience. When we share our experiences with others it bonds us on an even deeper level. It is the validation and human capacity for joy and love that makes these little sharing moments so profound. It amazes me really when I see how such a little thing could provide me with such encouragement as when I take care of myself. It is then and only then that I have something true and real to offer others. It is when I trust in these simple enjoyments that I allow myself to let go and relax. Be gentle with yourself non-judgemental. Being hard on ourselves does nothing for us and even hurts us in the end. Accepting our true nature along with every flaw and celebrating it in harmony with the earthsuit we carry provides us a deep sense of contentment.

Words of Hope

2008-06-04T09:54:00.000-07:00

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-

That perches in the soul-

And sings the tune without words-

And never stops-at all...

Emily Dickinson

I am finding more hope in my life everyday....this journey has already been a very fruitful one, but also filled with self-doubts. I took a giant leap to be here. I'm no spring chicken. I just have felt that I have been waiting for the man in my relationship to leap when I couldn't...then I did. I had not given myself sufficient time to settle or adjust before I was ready to throw the towel in. Self-protective anyone??? I stopped being so hard on myself but then I expected him to be in the same place I was....hahahahaha! The only thing that grew from that was resentment when things were beginning to get better for me that he could not relish in my joy.....and once again I let joy slip into the hands of bitterness....We both saw this tension between us and decided to take a step away from our present surroundings and focus on each other. We went up to Santa Barbara and had a really lovely day....It ended on a sore note however. For those of you who didn't know about the car accident we are ok, but what is really wonderful is the perspective it gave both of us. I feel like we both let go of our expectations on each other and focused more on comforting each other....and you know what happened??? Not only have we been closer the last 4-5 days but I got a job!!! Yes I had put in alot of efforts in the last weeks but it was my recent interviews with possibly a brighter attitude and a conviction of confidence that got me to this leg of my journey. So with that said hope is a thing with feathers...and I have learned to fly. ;-)

She's a lovely girl Hubble

2008-06-03T21:04:00.000-07:00

He says "I don't get it" and she says "and you never did"....As she turns and walks away from him you can't miss the look of confusion and loss on his face and the look of confidence and contentment in Carrie. She continues walking and notices a horse drawn carriage whose owner is having a difficult time. The horse is moving about with her mane. She is white with freckles and speckles all over...wisdom and freedom in her eyes the horse says, I will not be tamed...then Carrie thinks "then I had a thought...maybe I didn't break BIG, maybe the problem was he couldn't break me, maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed, maybe they need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with......"

This speaks like an echo to me and a voice that I recognize. Especially the wild and untamed in myself....my lesson is that I have to stop being afraid of letting out this huntress, this untamed soul, but more importantly ask myself if its that I am afraid of being with someone who is also free like the wind......

hindu goddess sarasvati

2008-06-02T13:03:00.000-07:00

Your Score: Sarasvati

You scored 66 intellect, 11 prosperity, 20 sexuality, and 68 goodness!

Sarasvati is the goddess of knowledge, wisdom, learning and the arts. She is the consort of Lord Brahma, the creator, and is considered to be the most beautiful goddess (although not the most sexual). She's not as material-minded as Lakshmi, just as those with an intellectual streak are generally not as wealthy as their entrepreneurial classmates who went for a Business degree. She rides a swan and sits, peacefully playing her veena. She is the one you turn to for a mastery of an art form or of knowledge.

Link: The Which Hindu Goddess Are You? Test written by mirchini on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test
View My Profile(mirchini)

Fabu Eco-finds

2008-05-29T09:08:00.000-07:00

This is a great site for those out there who want to buy organic and eco-friendly fair trade stuff....

http://www.whiteapricot.com/fab_finds/rm_archive_top_lists.php

And every time I try to use my link tool it won't work so sorry that you have to continue to cut and paste this in your browser. I dunno what the dealeo is....

E.E. Cummings is in my heart....

2008-05-28T19:39:00.000-07:00

Possibly the most beautiful sincere love poems I know....Ahhhh. Nothing like that precious and amazing feeling....

i carry your heart with me by E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

It's Hard to Need

2008-05-27T09:40:00.000-07:00

Needing someone can be scary. I might lose what I love, get hurt, or be left wounded. I certainly have been before. BUT if I can't risk needing, I can't get truly intimate with myself or others. More importantly my intimate relationship...I have had some very painful experiences from needing, whether it be that someone will hold things over my head, or in my vulnerableness I find I am the fool, but ultimately these are only negative lessons. I want the wonder of the first time...the guts, the kahunas, the big balls to jump right on in. With age and painful experience, has brought cynicism and yes a bit of wisdom....but I have to try and learn to throw out the cynicism. The doubts in my head consist of times I gave too little or way too much...or someone else gave too much (that brings the guilt).
My heart and mind feel off of it's center when this happens. I tell myself that needing is a bad idea. Getting vulnerable will only lead to dependency right? Wrong. When I am able to rebuild my inner world so its strong enough to risk needing another person, then my losses are not losses. I have what I need in whatever answer may come. I will feel solid enough within myself to weather disillusionment and disappointment without falling apart. I am strong. I have big huge kahunas... ;-)

Connection

2008-05-25T09:13:00.000-07:00

I want authentic and mutual connection. I know that we all have something deep within us to share, some kind of trauma or another. You know those times when the events of our lives felt overwhelming and we feel powerless to improve or change them... It could be ruptures in meaningful friendships or relationships that have created deep wounds inside us. Living with trauma tends to breed emotional and psychological disconnection both within the self and our relationships with others. In the absence of a true connection with the self, we grab onto other people, places or things to create something that is NOT real and can lead to an unhealthy friendship or relationship... We may attempt to connect to others in a way that does not allow us to feel free to be ourselves and even possibly them to be them, we may alternate between fusion and disconnection, all or nothing. In our past, connection may have come to mean pain, rejection, and lost hope of finding something real...so we give up and assimilate. We need to examine what connection has come to mean for us, to understand it and process all the feelings and meanings around how we feel. It is when I understand the anxiety and problematic expectations that keep me from being at peace in relationships, I can work through them towards a more authentic and real connection. That is what I long for...I haven't made it all this way to be a great pretender because of my fear in connecting to others. I want REAL...seeing someone for all their strengths and flaws as they know and see mine brings me great comfort..it just takes great courage for the heart to dive in...

Trusting nature's sense of timing

2008-05-23T12:58:00.000-07:00

Things don't just happen overnight do they? If it does, it probably only seems that way. Looking closer, it is simply that the fruit that has been growing from a seed has finally come into fruition. Everything in nature teaches me these lessons. All things have their own season. If I try to eat an apple before it has had time to ripen, it just isn't an apple. I have to learn to wait...ugh. Waiting is not my favorite thing in the world..but I see that in hindsight the lesson becomes clearer, the fruit begins to ripen and matures to its fullness. Everything has a season and when I look carefully each season has a purpose too. It is here I see the overall process that I can understand and appreciate. Even winter has it's purpose. It is a time of deep rest and rejuventation that, eventually, bursts forth in the yearly awakening of spring. I cannot push a tomato to ripen into perfection, or lavender towards a burst of sweet aroma, anymore than I can speed up many aspects of my life. I will follow its natural rhythm.....

Roundhouse rules....

2008-05-22T15:53:00.000-07:00

So I have woken up lately hearing songs from the show roundhouse and it was driving me crazy that I couldn't remember all the lyrics...this is when the internet comes in real handy. Found this site that looks like a fan put together of audio clips, lyrics and some factoids about the cast. This was the coolest show Nick ever had...For those of you who don't know, it was like In Living Color meets the Mickey Mouse Club. It RIPed in 1996 and as far as I know it has not been put out on DVD. What a shame.

check it out....

http://roundhouse.tvheaven.com/mainOLD.html

On the street where I live...and around the block ;-)

2008-05-22T15:40:00.000-07:00

Here are some shots of the area I now live...Redondo Beach. Truly I am blessed to live in such a cool little beach town. And I can get around in my awesome beach cruiser...

Being a Huntress

2008-05-22T07:48:00.000-07:00

As much as we may have beautiful fantasies of being handed a wonderful life on a silver platter...they are, in truth, fantasies. Like it or not, we have to work for our lives. What we don't learn through our own awareness, deconstruction and process of ourselves, and integrate into our internal world, is never really ours. It doesn't work with and for us because it hasn't been made sense of through our OWN eyes. It hasn't been assigned meaning as it relates to us, our needs and drives, our hopes and dreams, our sense of who we are and what life is all about for us. We live in our own minds....What is there is what we live in...it provides the filter that sorts through experience and the attitudes that are the engine that drives us through this life. Our life is our most intimate adventure...no one can live it for us and no one can completely understand it either....It is the Huntress in all who look for life, who yearn, listen and seek out a mission and purpose that feels right. This is what allows us to feel connected to our own unique contribution to the world. We grow when we contribute in meaningful ways. This is how we stretch our souls. The Huntress (or Hunter for those males out there...;-))is the researcher in all of us. The Huntress is the seeker, tester, and the experimenter who looks everywhere until she finds the right fit in her heart. Carpe Diem! I will seek out my life for it's purpose today with adventure!

"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar..."
Helen Keller

Bring on the veggies....

2008-05-21T08:20:00.000-07:00

So my boyfriend James has a series of allergy tests and they discovered that he is allergic to a lot of things including beef, eggs, dairy, olives, lemons, almost all nuts and (to his delight because he hates veggies) lettace...but the list went on and on...shrimp, scallops, tuna as well as candidia. He thinks his life is over....I think it is all beginning to make sense and I feel a great hope now that we have the tools to get him feeling better. I truly believe it all coincides with making not only his body feel better but his heart about the choices he makes to help this planet. I myself first went vegetarian when I realized that I was allergic to beef, chicken, eggs and dairy. I learned that I get inflammation easily when I take these things and it caused all kinds of problems for me. Since then I have noticed a chance in myself and my health. I read the Food Revolution and it really changed the way I looked at my part in helping this planet. Also my spiritual beliefs have certainly evolved with time that humans can be a very cruel and heartless species and I wanted to start caring about ALL of the earth's inhabitants. How can we ingest food that we don't know where it comes from...? For me it meant not only going veggie but also buying locally. I want to know about the fuel I am giving my precious body. As I care for myself and as I learn about myself I care for the world and I understand the world a little better each day.

Staying With it

2008-05-21T08:07:00.000-07:00

I could trade in...I could re-choose and look for another model, try to improve my lot in a variety of ways. But would I be improving or exchanging for a different set of problems? Are relationships about placing my original order just right or learning to love and stretch and go beyond what I thought were my natural limits? Who can give me just what I want when I hardly know what that is myself half of the time? How can I ask another person to know me better than I know myself or to want to be with me more than I care to be with me? My life in this relationship is an opportunity for growth--a chance to experience myself not as I wish I were but where I really am today. If I embrace it as such, I will recognize that both of us are a process, not a product. We can help one another to heal past wounds and become better, fuller people, or we can use our relationship as a dumping ground for all that is wrong with each other. The choice is ours. I choose to see that my relationship is a part of my spiritual path....

"I have come to believe that giving and receiving are really the same. Giving and receiving--not giving and taking..."
Joyce Greenfell

Fascinating stuff those little insects....

2008-05-20T17:53:00.001-07:00

FindArticles - How Insects Fly
Science World, Feb 26, 2001, by Sharon Guynup

Making a Mess

2008-05-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

An artist with a dishelved studio or a writer with a basket full of crumpled paper, or a chef with a mess of a kitchen may feel that chaos is a crucial part of their creative process. I the same way, I am willing to make a mess as part of my creative life giving process. How can I go from numbness to life, from stagnation to sponteneity, or from boredom to pleasure without passing through a period of confusion and instability? If I choose life rather than the status quo, I will have to search out for my own answers. That search can, at times feel messy and disorganized. If I only play roles, and forget to look into my own heart and know myself, I am not truly tasting the banquet than the universe has made me. There is so much about life that I would love to know better. Deeply appreciating all that life means, I wish to allow myself the freedom to explore the world, even when my exploration feels fumbling...In giving myself space to expand beyond my roles, I am also allowing others to be the benefactors of that space. I give us all more space.....to just be.

"Everybody knows if you are too careful you're so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something"
Gertrude Stein

starting a new advenure

2007-11-11T13:32:00.000-08:00

Love is trying to get into my house again and for the first time in my whole life I am not diving in head first...I still am dancing around the edge of it, but I can't seem to close my eyes and fall back. This time, this boy James is stable and honest. I really enjoy spending time with him. He makes me laugh yet he can be serious too. He seems to be capable of going deep into the abyss that is Hilary, but I am unsure still. He has dedication to life and sees problems or obstacles as learning experiences. A new concept for this girl....yet I am still hesitant. I have already unlocked the deadbolts and I am just looking through the screen door now. Deep breath Hil....just let it come to you and follow your heart as always. ;-)

Day of the Dead

2007-11-05T16:32:00.000-08:00

More than 500 years ago, when the Spanish Conquistadors landed in what is now Mexico, they encountered natives practicing a ritual that seemed to mock death.
It was a ritual the indigenous people had been practicing at least 3,000 years. A ritual the Spaniards would try unsuccessfully to eradicate.
A ritual known today as Día de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead.
The ritual is celebrated in Mexico and certain parts of the United States,
including a Celebration held each year in Tucson. Although the ritual has since been merged with Catholic theology, it still maintains the basic principles of the Aztec ritual, such as the use of skulls.
Today, people don wooden skull masks called calacas and dance in honor of their deceased relatives. The wooden skulls are also placed on altars that are dedicated to the dead. Sugar skulls, made with the names of the dead person on the forehead, are eaten by a relative or friend.
The Aztecs and other Meso-American civilizations kept skulls as trophies and displayed them during the ritual. The skulls were used to symbolize death and rebirth.
The skulls were used to honor the dead, whom the Aztecs and other Meso-American civilizations believed came back to visit during the monthlong ritual.
Unlike the Spaniards, who viewed death as the end of life, the natives viewed it as the continuation of life. Instead of fearing death, they embraced it. To them, life was a dream and only in death did they become truly awake.
The pre-Hispanic people honored duality as being dynamic, they didn't separate death from pain, wealth from poverty like they did in Western cultures. However, the Spaniards considered the ritual to be sacrilegious. They perceived the indigenous people to be barbaric and pagan. In their attempts to convert them to Catholicism, the Spaniards tried to kill the ritual. But like the old Aztec spirits, the ritual refused to die.
To make the ritual more Christian, the Spaniards moved it so it coincided with All Saints' Day and All Souls' Day (Nov. 1 and 2), which is when it is celebrated today.

Nightmare in Tucson

2007-10-28T23:57:00.000-07:00

A FEW CHOICE SHOTS OF THE EVENING...THERE WERE SOME REALLY GREAT COSTUMES...I HAD SO MANY PICS TO SHOW OFF BUT IT WOULDN'T LET ME PUT THEM ALL ON HERE....I WILL SET UP A PHOTO ALBUM IN KODAK GALLERY WHEN I HAVE A CHANCE...TILL THEN ENJOY THESE!

A new beginning

2007-10-26T12:17:00.000-07:00

My heart has FINALLY learned the lesson of letting go in the face of rejection. I have been battling this one most of my life and have shared with some of you these trials. It wasn't my fault. I get it now. I always knew that on the surface but to tell my subconscious heart that was another story. It sought out to recreate the hardest story of my life...time and again. I wanted to save but without the other wanting the help. I really worked on pulling back from these deeply rooted tendencies with friends and even family but could not with the intimate person in my life. After this last breakup I feel like I can stand in the face of rejection and not be hurt by it. It took time for me to get there. I knew the words but my heart had to find out in swimming the deep waters of the ocean. I am elated and I am thrilled to be reveling in this now unlocked pattern. Breathing feels easier...loving has a new name. I got to the other side of the cave in my sea kayak. The indescribable way that I have chosen to look at life and the amazing beauty that life is is such an incredible gift. I am thankful and blessed.

Sunday Farmer's Market

2007-10-21T14:20:00.000-07:00

Julia and I went to the Farmer's Market this morning. We go most Sundays but we hadn't in a few weeks. The weather right now is just perfect. An absolutely gorgeous day. On the way back we saw this young bull and decided to say hello.

And last but not least we hung up our little pepper wreath outside. Simba was interested so I brought him out to see.

Fool's Hollow

2007-10-21T14:08:00.000-07:00

Tucson had it's Fool's Hollow event yesterday. It had a children's costume contest, a outdoor haunted house, several bands and Flem Chen ( a group that does acrobactics while using fire). They told a Japanese ghost story as the grand finale. It was really amazing.

crazy chicken

2007-10-19T11:26:00.000-07:00

What a crazy week!! New protocol implemented at work for how to run well everything differently...Of course it all boils down to more ways of getting money posted and received easily. Healthcare in America sucks! Needless to say it has been very stressful and a bit hectic for sure. Now that I am starting to understand it I think it will fall into place...but with that said TGIF!!!

I feel like I have been on speed in order to keep up with my life this week and it is hard when I have been ready to live at a slower pace for the last couple of years. It's really helpful when you are high octcane energy to live in a slow town. It balances me out. ;-) I realize that there is NO way I could ever live in Los Angeles or New York. Too much will drive a person crazy. The pace of Tucson (which vistors can attest to) is a wonderfully slow rhythm. That's why it has been a struggle with work. Oh.... the days of massage can't come soon enough.

I am going to see some dancing tonight at a Spanish restaurant called Casa Vicente. Tango and Flamenco dancing! I really want to learn! Saw this group on Sunday just last week at the University of Arizona's Anniversary for the Poetry Center. Poets and music, sidewalk art and dancers, book sales and inventive foods...it was lovely.

Have a great weekend everyone! I leave you with some pics of the event I attended at the U of A Poetry Center.

ventana canyon and bag it charity brunch

2007-10-14T22:27:00.001-07:00

Gilma myself and Cathy at Ventana Canyon hike

Hello dear friends....

2007-10-14T21:49:00.001-07:00

Welcome my friends to aquariana cortazon...
I hope this is a place that provides a window into my life since I am so far away from so many of you. As many of you know I live in the desert. ;-) In Tucson, Arizona to be more specific. It is a rare gem of a place and I have made my home here for over 2 years. This shot was taken in my cozy little backyard, which I absolutley love. Julia (my rommate and dear friend) and I love to spend our evenings on the roof or simply hanging out on the futon talking and solving all the world's problems. ;-) I have lead a very active summer and am part of many groups around town. I still love to cook, paint, write and simply create...most of the time a mess...but that's a whole notha' enchilada. I continue to be a self-taught student of the world. Right now I am learning all about homeopathy and flower remedies. More than anything I find that opening my heart to all experiences has caused me to look at the world with new eyes everyday.